Tag Archive | Basics

Left or Right side?

When starting with any kind of fetish and fetish parties it might be good to remember the rule about left and right in correlation to sexual preference (top or bottom). It might be displayed as a cuff on one wrist, keys on the belt, or the well-known hanky.

I am surprised how often I get this question, mostly from new guys in the fetish community, but also from men that has been around for a couple of years. I have talked to people who think the meaning of left and right are different between Europe and the United States, this is not the case, it is the same everywhere.

Left hand side: Right hand side:
  • Top
  • Active
  • Giver
  • Dominant
  • Bottom
  • Passive
  • Receiver
  • Submissive

You will see guys with plain black cuffs on both wrist. Then ask, they might be a switch, or it might be that they think it looks better. If the cuffs have some colour you can expect that they are a signal of sexual preference.

I always take such signs with a grain of salt, a good talk is preferred. A submissive might signal he is dominant on purpose, for instance if he is looking for someone special, and to discourage play with other random tops. Or if the guy is like me, mostly dominant, he might switch for the right top.

Time to clean your leather?

After a week with Statfest, CSD auf der Spree and CSD in Berlin, and 30 degrees, my leather shirt began to show some white sweat marks on the back, chest and under the arms. And I thought “How the h*ll do I get this of”, it’s a Mr.B shirt to several hundred euros.

After some searching on the Internet i found several tips and tricks on how to clean leather jackets and pants. I summarise all of them like this:

  • Use a mild cleaning agent, like something meant for baby skin.
    As stronger agents might discolour or even destroy the leather.
  • Rinse thoroughly with water to remove any residue of the soap.
    Residue might itch and make the leather stiff.
  • Dry slowly in normal room temperature.
    If drying too fast the leather will become stiff and brittle.
  • Apply leather conditioner before it is dry and afterwards.
    This is to replace the moisture from the water with something more durable.
  • Store it in a ventilated space, so it do not mould.
Important to have in mind:

  • If you are unsure what to do or if you want to do this yourself at all, then don’t. Use a professional cleaner that knows how to handle leather.
  • It might shrink a bit, it did for me.
  • This is the first time I’ve cleaned leather so I might have done some mistakes.

What I actually did

I used:

  • Baby shampoo (without perfume)
  • Black leather oil
  • Leather Balsam
  • Several sponges
    • One for cleaning
    • One for oil
    • One for leather balsam
  • A towel
  • 30L plastic container
  • One solid clothes hanger, with wide shoulders.

Checking the cleaning agent

I first of all took some baby shampoo on a part of the shirt where it would not be noticed it it stained. Just to be sure. Waited for some minutes and wiped it away. I could not see any difference (discolouring or similar).

Cleaning the shirt

I filled the container half full with water, added about 4-6 cl of baby shampoo and stirred well. Then I lay the shirt into the water, pressed out all the big air bubbles and used a sponge to wipe gently on the biggest spots. I pressed carefully on the shirt a couple of times to circulate the water, and I left it covered in water for 4-5 minutes before I took the shirt out.

The water becomes quite black after the colouring agent used in the shirt and the black leather oil which I have previously used on the shirt. So do not be alarmed if the soap water looks black/dark purple.

I pressed on the shirt to remove some soap water. Mind do not twist or squeeze the shirt it might damage it. After I had replaced the soap water with clean water I rinsed out the soap by pressing gently on the shirt. I replaced the water several times and repeated the process until I did not see any more soap bubbles. And yes, the water will still become a lighter shade of black/purple.

I carefully pressed out as much water as possible with a towel before I left it to dry on the clothes hanger for a couple of hours. I made sure to dry it in normal room temperature, without any heating. And also remove as much water as possible from the buttons so they would not rust.

 

Moisturise it!

After a couple of hours, the shirt was still soaking wet, I began the work of oiling the garment with black leather oil. I used black oil to replace any colour that might have been lost in the wash. Make sure to cover the whole piece, also inside the pockets, but not on the flesh side of the hide.

I did this the first time in the evening, repeated it the morning after, and after work. I left it to dry in as before. Feel free to oil it another time if you feel it needs it. When it was dry I used Renapur Leather Balsam, it contains different oils and bee wax, I covered the whole shirt. Inside the pockets, underneath the shoulder strap/passant, on the backside of the placket, everywhere the topside of the hide was visible.

Done

I’m really satisfied with the result, it both looked and felt like new. And the most important part, I could not see any white areas.

skjorteren

New store for men in Oslo – 2BE

Update (2017-06-13): After seeing some activity on this old post. I regret to inform you that this store is permanently closed.

Well, it has been there for some time now. It is a store focusing on underwear and swimwear for men. Even if such stores are found in every big city it is quite unusual in Norway, it seems like Norwegians think male underwear shouldn’t be sexy.

The store is located in Tollbugata, just a couple of blocks from our main street “Karl Johan”.

This is the only store in Oslo (as far as I know) there you can find:

  • Andrew Christian
  • Addicted
  • ES
  • Barcode
  • AussieBum

This store is not directly fetish oriented, but you might find some cool stuff anyway. I hope that every guy in Oslo use this store, as I like that the concept has come to town. I’m going to find myself some bathing shorts later today.

Check out their web shop at 2be.fashion

Different harness types

In my opinion a nice harness is one of the hottest thing a guy can wear. It has to be quite solid so I can give it a good pull without ruining it. Last weekend I got a question about different harness types, and I thought it was about time I finished this blog post.

There are several basic harness types, and if you are looking for your first harness there are a lot to choose from. As with everything else the same harness types might be known by different names. Below I have listed the most usual types with drawings, they might vary a bit in finish or minor details. And some of those details makes out the difference in the name.

I will not go into the material of the harness or if there are buckles and where they might be placed in this post. If you know of a harness you think I should have included in this list, let me know in the comment section.


H-Harness

Bulldog/Crossbow/H-Harness

This kind of harness is quite popular. You can get it with and without the ring in the middle in front. It is often known as a bulldog harness if it has the ring or crossbow harness if it doesn’t.

With the ring in the front you can add an extra strap with a cock ring in the other end, some call it cockstrap.

In the back it is often the same as in front. But I have seen it with an X on the back – the strap over the left shoulder returns under the right and the one over the right returns under the left.

Back


4-Strap Harness

Top/4-Strap Harness

As one of the names describes so perfectly, it has 4 straps. Such a harness is also known as a top harness. Connected to one ring in front and one in the back. Often the ring on the back is placed a bit higher than the one in front. It is an basic design often used in other harnesses.

Back
harness-top-back


Y-Harness

English/Y-Harness

The Y-harness is almost the H-harness on its side. It can have a similar fastening in the back as it has in front, but it can also be one ring with all four straps fastened, just as the 4-strap harness. You can find it labelled as an English harness

As the H-harness, you can add a cock ring strap to this harness. Be sure to check the length of that one before you buy.

Back

 


Sling/Shoulder Harness

Sling/Shoulder Harness

Shoulder harness is minimal in front, it has just a strap over each shoulder. In the back it can be like an H-harness or all four can be connected to one ring in the centre like the 4-strap harness.

Back


Gladiator Harness

Gladiator Harness

the gladiator harness is almost a half H-harness. And it is the same in the back as in front. I have seen it called “Sea Dog harness”, but then it had a special fastening mechanism in front.

Back
harness-gladiator-back


The upper body drawing are based on one I found on the image search on Google, I tried to find the original, but no success. If anyone know let me know.

Cheep cockrings

Cockrings might be quite expensive. If you just want a cheep simple ring. Go to a hardware store that have equipment for boats and their owners. They often have rings in several sizes to be used for ropes and hooks. Those in the picture is 50 mm in diameter, and costs about 2 € for two at the Biltema store.

Note, you might not know what the ring is made of, so ask, or keep it directly on your skin (not around your cock) for some hours to be sure you don’t have an allergy to the metal (like nickel for instance). Clean the rings thoroughly before use.

If you are going to buy your first cockring, I would recommend to read this post first: Want a cockring?

Please! Do not use perfume!

You have probably experienced it several times. A guy with so much perfume that you can smell him meters away.

When in gear, especially in leather, one wants to be as masculine as possible. If you believe the commercials and think that you need some perfume to be masculine, PLEASE JUST DON’T. There is nothing that ruins the mood more than a perfume soaked ‘leather‘ guy. I use inverted commas as the subtle smell of leather is some of the point of a Leatherman. If you don’t like it, a leather club, bar or party may not be the place for you.

You might use an antiperspirant, but let it be one with a discrete smell. Keep in mind some guys like to sniff or lick your armpits, and believe me it is not the smell of ocean spray they are after.

Let leather smell like leather, a man smell like a man, and leave the perfume at home!

Going to a fetish party for the first time?

If you are going to a fetish party for the first time, you probably have a number of questions. Like what to ware, what to expect and what to do. Of course the answers will vary from party to party, but some are quite general.

There is a basic difference between a private party and a party at some club. A private party are often more to the point, while in a club you might not get to any point at all. What the theme is, decides what type of gear you should use. For instance do not go in leather to a strictly rubber party, and do not use allot of time getting your rubber ready if you are going to a nude party. In some cases there might not be clear what you should wear, then ask the host (or the club) what they expect the others to dress. At the same time it is often easier to take off some of the gear if you feel you have too much on.

If you are going to a sex party, then less is more, often to much gear comes in the way. Is it a leather club, feel free wear everything, as long as it looks good. You should bring your own condoms and lube, you never know when you need some and if there are any available.

I would recommend to not go alone to a club where you do not know any other people. Both of social and security reasons (especially if you plan to lose control). It is good to have some one to talk to if it is a slow night, and some one to watch your beer or drink when your attention is elsewhere. If you are into BDSM it is good to have some one to make sure your limits are observed and not crossed.

When there, everything is up to you. You will seldom get any action if you just stand by a wall looking at guys. But of course you might just want to watch. If you talk to someone it does not always mean they want hot and steamy sex with you, so no pressure. At the same time feel free to talk about sex or fetishes, it is nice to know if you are into the same stuff before you suggest something more.

This is much easier at a private party, there is less stress and you know what to expect in regards to type of party, duration and people you will meet. If you do not know any one at the party and are not so brave to meet everyone at once, it might be a good idea to meet the host first for a cup of coffee or something.

Remember, you should not do anything you do not want to do and always play safe!