Tag Archive | BDSM

It isn’t your Parade!

Update 2017-07-03: The original article has been removed, but as nothing is truly deleted on the web you can find a print screen here.

Earlier today I stumbled upon this comment where the author don’t want to see kink in her pride parade. Well, I got news for you honey, or it isn’t news, it’s a short history lesson.

The gay leather subculture have existed at least from the fifties, with gay motorcycle clubs or just leather clubs. SLM Oslo (then SLM Norway) is the oldest gay club in Norway, it started in 1976. First they may just have been to there to celebrate masculinity, but there has always been some elements of BDSM and kink. Anyway, over the years the community have grown and embraced different types of kink, for instance rubber, neoprene and puppy play. So kink has been in the LGBTQ* community from the start.

I find it narrow minded to deny a straight cisgender person who is into kink, the right to show their support to their brothers and sisters by joining us in the parade. Actually I know of several straight cis-men who have no problem playing with other men, so the premise for the article falls away.

It is interesting to see how this author in other posts tries to remove stereotypical stigmas, but walks right into one here. Kink and BDSM does not require use of sexual organs, they do not even need to be accessible. It does not even have to be sexual.  For instance the Japanese art of bondage, Shibari.

Another point that comes up in the article is that it is not appropriate to minors to see people with kinks in the parade. Let me ask, is it more appropriate to see men with perfect bodies dancing around with less clothing than I have in one of my hankies? Why should they be able to show their body as an object of sexual admiration, and i don’t?

I’m into leather, the first time I had leather jeans at work I got comments. I have stopped counting how many times I have been called Nazi when I’m in full leather on the street. Leather is not directly sexual for me, I have even baked cakes dressed in leather.

The parade is not yours alone, it is for everyone in the LGBTQ* community and those who support us! So please, do not try to limit the expressions of your brothers, sisters and fellow human beings, there is enough of those who want to do that already.

Different harness types

In my opinion a nice harness is one of the hottest thing a guy can wear. It has to be quite solid so I can give it a good pull without ruining it. Last weekend I got a question about different harness types, and I thought it was about time I finished this blog post.

There are several basic harness types, and if you are looking for your first harness there are a lot to choose from. As with everything else the same harness types might be known by different names. Below I have listed the most usual types with drawings, they might vary a bit in finish or minor details. And some of those details makes out the difference in the name.

I will not go into the material of the harness or if there are buckles and where they might be placed in this post. If you know of a harness you think I should have included in this list, let me know in the comment section.


H-Harness

Bulldog/Crossbow/H-Harness

This kind of harness is quite popular. You can get it with and without the ring in the middle in front. It is often known as a bulldog harness if it has the ring or crossbow harness if it doesn’t.

With the ring in the front you can add an extra strap with a cock ring in the other end, some call it cockstrap.

In the back it is often the same as in front. But I have seen it with an X on the back – the strap over the left shoulder returns under the right and the one over the right returns under the left.

Back


4-Strap Harness

Top/4-Strap Harness

As one of the names describes so perfectly, it has 4 straps. Such a harness is also known as a top harness. Connected to one ring in front and one in the back. Often the ring on the back is placed a bit higher than the one in front. It is an basic design often used in other harnesses.

Back
harness-top-back


Y-Harness

English/Y-Harness

The Y-harness is almost the H-harness on its side. It can have a similar fastening in the back as it has in front, but it can also be one ring with all four straps fastened, just as the 4-strap harness. You can find it labelled as an English harness

As the H-harness, you can add a cock ring strap to this harness. Be sure to check the length of that one before you buy.

Back

 


Sling/Shoulder Harness

Sling/Shoulder Harness

Shoulder harness is minimal in front, it has just a strap over each shoulder. In the back it can be like an H-harness or all four can be connected to one ring in the centre like the 4-strap harness.

Back


Gladiator Harness

Gladiator Harness

the gladiator harness is almost a half H-harness. And it is the same in the back as in front. I have seen it called “Sea Dog harness”, but then it had a special fastening mechanism in front.

Back
harness-gladiator-back


The upper body drawing are based on one I found on the image search on Google, I tried to find the original, but no success. If anyone know let me know.

I’m starting with ropes

I have just begun looking into ropes, the possibilities are endless, and at the same time really complicated. I have been tying knots since I was two, but then it was to secure objects to its place or chain reactions in the best “Home alone” style. A technique not suitable for bondage.

Safety is the most important thing in all kinds of play, especially when the danger of permanent damage is possible (both physical and psychological). If I tie the rope to tight, the blood circulation may be blocked and cause damage. On the other hand, the person might get a panic attack, and then it is important to handle it in a good way. I read a good blog post from Sir Dart about taking care of one’s playfellows. I know a couple of guys that really need to practice aftercare, but that is a subject for another time.

My challenge with tying up bodies is how to tie the knots so it is fast to untie, like a fast release, and knots that do not tighten when the cord it pulled. My goal is to tie a full body harness with suspension, but that is still some time away. Moreover, I need a hook in the ceiling.

My boyfriend has become my practice doll, he is complaining about all the times he has gotten a whiplash from the end of the rope. Regretfully it is still a drain on my mental capacity to focus on both the knot and where the end of the rope is. Hopefully this will get better with some practice.

I just have to see if this would be my thing or just one activity in my toolbox. I will keep you posted.